In talking with Erin and Stacy the other day I mentioned how many people find me very intimidating. To my surprise, they both said they never felt that from me. They have never been afraid to talk to me, ask me questions, or approach me when we were strangers. All I could do was take a step back and say, “Uh, I wonder why?” So many people before them have expressed to me how they struggled to speak with me and connect with me because they felt so intimidated by my presence.
The topic came up again after our Claiming the Shadow class. This is our fourth week in class, and only now are we seeing our students blossom and open up. I could not help ask why it took so long. Of course, the subject would not get out of my head. Could their reluctance be some shadow aspect of myself I am not addressing? Could I be at fault for their walls to be so high? Could it be that I demonstrate something to others that makes them uncomfortable?
Doing as I do, I went within. I began meditating on it. I sat with the question, Why do I intimidate others? What am I doing that makes me so unapproachable?” Then I heard her, in her cool soft voice, “You are the black mirror.” The words flowed like water from her motionless lips, a telepathic message filled with patient certainty. Of course, my Dark Queen said no more. She was coiled up resting her large iridescent black scaled head on her hands, looking at me with her infinite, all-knowing gaze. I thought I saw a sly smile rise from the corner of her mouth as she closed her deep dark galaxy eyes. With a gentle sigh, her message repeated. “You are the black mirror.”
Naturally, this was not enough information. I needed clarification. What does that mean? Why am I a black mirror? Black mirrors are typically used for divination. Often it is a scrying method using water in a black bowl where the reflective surface reveals images depicting messages and truths about a subject or situation.
This limited knowledge led me to pick up my Dark Mirror Deck. This deck is definitely not for the faint of heart or anyone looking for a sugar-coated message. This deck digs deep into your shadow to tell you truths you might not want to hear, much less address. As I shuffled the deck and pulled a card to clarify her message, I was taken back by the result.
I pulled Triumph of Lies…
This card’s message is profoundly clear. This card speaks about the lies we tell ourselves and the lies other force upon us. It speaks of the integration of these lies and how they become our reality. The lie triumphs to become “truth.” This card reminds us that not all things that glitter and catch our eye are gold. Not everything and not everyone who makes you feel good is good for you. Not all things told to us are true. (Ironically this was a conversation Erin, Stacy, and I had in the car on the way back from Hershey two days prior.)
This card is the emptiness of false beliefs and impressions. It speaks of the damage done by adopting these falsehoods as our own truth. When we put others on a pedestal, ignoring their falsehoods and the trauma they can inflict onto us, we only damage ourselves. We often ignore these falsehoods because we are blinded by charm, love, insecurity, or through some sense of responsibility. This card reminds us that appeal and unchecked ego is dangerous and addictive.
When we deny our personal truth and the truth shown to us by others, we wear a mask carved from expectation, contradicting patterns, and hypocritical behaviors. You must know that these contradictions are not like Persephone where her light and dark balance one another. These contradictions are hypocritical and hinder the emergence of one’s true self. It is a sign of hiding from the truth out of fear. Fear of judgment, resentment, vanity, lack of confidence, etc.
Triumph of Lies is a reminder that we were born whole and pure. To step into your gifts, you must be naked and remember your truth void of the lies you have come to believe. As you rediscover the real you and the gifts you are meant to impart to this world, you will shed to mask you wear.
No wonder some find me intimidating. I am a black mirror reminding folks that they are living a lie. I somehow remind people of a difficult truth – You are meant to be and do so much more!! This is not something I take lightly.
When we believe the lies we have been spoon-fed over the years it can be very hard to step out of that. This identity has become comfortable. “Better the devil you know than the devil you don’t.” Our Shadow-Demons are at play when we gloss over the truth and adopt the lies that provide a false sense of security and righteousness.
This has me looking back on all my difficult relationships over the years. It has given me a whole new perspective. My medicine is not easy for some. Many will not be ready to accept it. I am meant to shake things up inside and remind you of the mask you wear.
We all are here to impart our gifts to the world, but when we spend our lives denying these gifts we are not fulfilling our purpose. So next time you see me. Look into my eyes and see the reflection of what my soul is trying to reveal to yours.
Oh and you might want to know, I am not the only black mirror out there. We are surrounded by black mirrors, people who reflect back to us the truths we deny. When we find ourselves recoiling in the presence of someone or some idea, it is a good idea to discover why. Pull a card. Meditate on it. Consult your guides… Find the answer and learn how many of your truths are actually lies, standing before you in smug triumph.